This happened to me in the spring of 2008. I wrote this several weeks after it happened. This past week I went back and did some editing so it would flow better. This is apart of The Walk I have been on. I am now posting it here for you to read. This is where I begin to be vulnerable. If you are new to this blog I ask that you read the very first post that I wrote for you to get an understanding of the perspective or place I am writing from.
It was a cold Sunday morning and I just finished grocery shopping with the boys after church and Sunday school. I was dressed for warmer weather so getting the boys settled in the car and putting the groceries away was less than pleasant. The wind was blowing and the sky was spitting drops of rain. It felt as if the temperature had dropped even more in the sort time I was emptying the cart into the car. After unloading the bags, I looked around for the nearest cart return. I soon realized there was not a cart return close by and from the looks of it, everyone else decided to abandon their shopping carts in the parking stall where they had parked. I was in short-sleeves and cold; miserable to be quite frank. I knew when I returned home, I had to unpack all the groceries, put away laundry, make lunch for the family and do numerous other things. The quickest and easiest thing for me to do was what everybody else did. Leave the cart right where I was; get in my warm mini-van and head home to start my ‘to-do-list.’
Then I heard, “Its not what everybody else does, it’s about what you do.”
My reply, “Ah crap. Do I have to?”
Silence.
I was left with the choice. I have free will, so I didn’t have to put my shopping cart away.
As miserable and cold as I was, I walked half the parking lot in the blistering wind and rain to put my cart in its proper place, in a cart stall. As I got into my car and buckled up, the boys yelling from the back seats asking to have some item we purchased minutes ago, I asked myself, why did this just happen? Why did God make the statement, “Its not what everybody else does, it’s about what you do,” for such a mundane chore of returning a grocery cart to the return stall. Is there not ‘bigger things’ God could speak to me about and tell me how to behave better? How about speaking to me during situations where I am at a loss on what to do. Or, when with a group of friends and I choose to remain silent or agree with something that I know not to be true.
In the past few years I have come to contemplate such events. I began to think about the WHY. This took the better part of that day and it occupied my thoughts for weeks afterward. There were so many whys. Why did He choose the simple act of returning a shopping cart to the return stall? Why was God singling me out? There were many other carts in the lot. Couldn’t He have also told those people to put away their carts? Why was I even thinking this hard about something so unimportant? And finally, may be it wasn’t God speaking to me at all, but my conscious telling me to do better.
I looked at the event and the factors. The event was returning a grocery cart to the return stall. This looks pretty non-significant. However, when you factor in the variables, less than pleasant weather and my attire of spring clothes, you can begin to see how the non-significant event becomes a little more important. Lets say the weather or my clothing choice for the day was not a factor and I noticed shopping carts all around the parking lot. I would have returned the grocery cart to the stall with little or no thought. For me, the added factors of physical uneasiness and knowing I had many things to complete once home, made me actually notice what everybody else did with their grocery cart and contemplate doing the same thing. May be, just may be God chose this moment because I was weak in my resolve to do what I normally do and He was reminding me. Or may be returning the grocery cart when I was physically uncomfortable was His practice for me. God may have been demonstrating in a simple act that following Him and His way is not always comfortable and cozy. Sometimes physical, emotional and mental discomfort will be apart of His way of life. Not because He makes it that way, but because others, family, friends and society make it that way. Or to be really honest, because of the choices I have made and continue to make.
I think I heard God speak to me during a mundane task because I could listen and ‘hear.’ I have gone grocery shopping and put groceries in my car thousands of times in the past. My mind wasn’t consciously focused on the mechanics of the activity. It was automatic in a sense, freeing up part of my mind to hear God speak. When I reflect on this, I have come to realize that God speaks or better yet, I tend to ‘hear’ God during times and activities that do not require much in the way of active thinking. That is, activities that are mentally and physically ‘automatic,’ because I have done them so many times before. They are in the ‘automatic’ section of my brain or at the molecular level-they are now embedded in my muscle memory. After speaking with others and stepping back and looking at some of our religious traditions (prayer, incantations, walking a labrynth etc activities that are rote in nature) I now know that it is during those times when we are physically and mentally on functioning the ‘automatic’ level, we can hear God. To clarify God Speak, I am not saying that there is a voice that calls my name and the earth shakes and His voice sounds like thunder and rushing water at the same time. It usually comes in the form of an idea that just ‘pops’ in my mind. It is during those rote activities that I find myself ‘talking’ to God in my own mind. I am either asking what, why and how questions. If and when ‘something’ comes to me it is generally not what I was asking or thinking to Him about.
I also think that the act of doing our daily routines or activities is the most important time to follow God. Our daily activities make up who we are. It’s somewhat like our ‘core’ behaviors. If we follow God in our ‘core’ behaviors it tells others what we are made of. It is in the action, the ‘doing,’ that reveals our inner-selves. Let’s face it; it’s easy to ‘talk’ a good game. To proclaim we are Christian or say we walk a good path in life is easy. One must back that up with action. For example, I can say I am Christian, and do nothing else. I can go to church and do nothing else. But if I do not say anything and serve others, look to where I can contribute and take action in helping my fellow person, doesn’t that tell you more about who I am than what I said?
When we follow God in our daily activities, we are practicing for upcoming events that would challenge us to follow God and His ways. If our core is faith filled and strong in His ways, we will tend to do the right thing even when a situation is stressful and hard physically, emotionally or mentally. This relates back to the automatic rote activities. The more we practice and His ways become apart of us, the ‘easier’ it is to fall back to those behaviors that have become automatic in times of physical, emotional and mental trials.
Then the thought came to me that may be God telling me “its not what everybody else does, its about what you do,” goes beyond me, way beyond me. I have read and come to learn that God uses anyone to do His will. His will that day may have been not only for me, but also for someone else. Possibly someone was watching and thinking, “what in the world is that lady doing? I would just leave my cart there.” What would make her do such a thing?” I know this too is far fetched, but the possibility stands that this could have caused someone to start thinking of why they behave the way they do and why others behave they way they do. Eventually, this could lead them to a better understanding of God. I know what you are thinking and I can say, stranger things have happened.
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